silly as it sounds...

dear james,

 

 

xoxo,

me

:)

murphy's law

if anyone ever conclusively finds

the real mccoy murphy

behind this law,

i'd be surprised.

i have a suspicion there is no such man

and i'll come to find out

that i've spent

one too many minutes of my life

harboring animosity

towards

an imaginary figure

of speech.

i totally just re-injured my sprained ankle.

tripped,

and mistakenly kicked a dutch oven.

nice.

thanks a lot,

murphy.

i think my favorite time to blog...

(image copyright tiabennett2010) 

...is on nights like this when i just can't sleep.  when i get the urge to purge whatever internal dialogue flows through my cortex and onto the screen, as silly as it sounds.  regardless of relevance.

perhaps that is the foundation of my blogs seemingly irrelevant name: 

silly as it sounds.

because, despite all the sharing of eye-catching wonders and familial what-have-yous and hawking of goods i've done in years past, it all just boils down to this:

being creative. 

being creative with whatever, whenever, wherever. 

(image copyright tiabennett2010)

simply having the privilege everyday:
to express and perceive,
to question and explore.
to emote.
to strive.
to enjoy.

that is the essence of creativity, is it not?  to just take something and run with it....until it transforms into something infinitely more beautiful or translucent or magical than it seemed just moments (or hours....or days....) before?

to craft every day the invaluable journey of self mastery; the unification of body and spirit, whose fusion breathes new life into a whole heart and soul capable of inestimable happiness.

oh, the humanity.

"Oh, me. Oh, life of the questions of these recurring [...] what good amid these, oh me, oh life? Answer: That you are here, that life exists and identity, that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse." 

 

(public domain image courtesy of USPS-GOV)

good old walt.

my verses vary.  OH, how they vary!  the very acts themselves will change mid-scene; the scenery of one jubilant vignette giving way to another cacophony of colorfully captive living.  when, suddenly,

cut:  to a sobering reminder, illuminating the fragility of existence on this wonderful stage.

oh, the humility.

(i think often of the car accident last week, and the good fortune i had to escape with my precious life, let alone not a single bone broken or worse.  to have all my faculties and sinews and precious future days on this beautiful earth escape unscathed.  i truly am lucky to be alive and whole.  my gratitude to my Heavenly Father is without words.  my thanks to the many who have reached out in love and service and prayers and kind words is overflowing.)

but onward it goes.  upward we climb.  silently we petition.  and bravely we battle on.

fueled by hope.  by faith.  by love, unfeigned.  by peace.

does anyone even read this anymore?

i don't know.

but.

i know that i miss sharing my art.  my creations.  my journey.

i know that i want to feel safe enough here to do that again.

not for a job.
not for a paycheck.
not for an assignment.
not even for an audience.

but for me.

so, if you choose to stick around, that's okay;

i won't complain.
i won't even try to hawk you my goods.
i will center my text, lazily go uncapitalized, and mess constantly with my blog appearance and sidebars.
i will miss lots of days and then inundate the blasted thing with umpteen posts on single random days.

i will even read all you write and wish you kind thoughts and moments of joyful happiness; i'm just that kind of sun-shiney, smiling, brown-eyed girl.

but one more, important, thing you can be assured of,
is that i will strive to be

unapologetic-ally,
unashamedly,
(albeit, perhaps, even) unprofessionally,
but nonetheless,
unequivocally

me.

the dreamer.  the hope-r.  the happy-maker.  the life-lover.  the beauty-finder.

silly as it sounds,

and all.

my birthday boy

it's hard to believe that it has been SIX years already

six years ago that he stole his way into our lives and our hearts

six years ago that we feared the ultimate worst, as he lay, lethargic, in my swollen belly

six years ago that hurried nurses flew me past my family towards an operating room and into the waiting knife of an on-call doctor

six years ago that he was unceremoniously pulled from a warm home beneath my heart, only to take his first fragile breath and steal mine away altogether

______________________________________________________

i love you, bay-man

we celebrate all that you are today

and all that you will be tomorrow

um, volcanoes, i guess.

another notebook page:

i was watching a documentary on something that day, obviously having to do with volcanoes...

(i love the history/discovery/national geographic channels).

and, of course, the old tori amos song came crashing through my reverie.

and it never escapes me that i live in the shadow of a volcano.

but while i'm on the subject of volcanoes,

how awesome was dwight last night on the office?!

"Some people say that no man is an island.

FALSE.

I am an island,

and THIS island

is VOLCANIC."

hahaha!  classic.

notebook in my pocket

everywhere i go these days, i've got a little moleskine in tow.

inspired by their gallery and mayan calendar glyphs,

i started making my own little silly cartouche-like drawings; capturing something from the day, something from a bit or a piece, here or there, of my harried hurried happy days.  usually it's when i'm sitting in the car in the parent pick-up line, on the bleachers at another practice or game, or otherwise engaged in the hurry-up-and-wait mayhem of motherhood.

here's the first one from awhile back:

so what will you try and hold on to today?

me, well, i'm holding on

to those that i love.

and a blind faith that LOST will finally make sense in the end.  heh heh.

name that superhero

master indy?

indiana skywalker?

baylor's ideal good guy is a morph of indiana jones and some version of the force

i think it has something to do with his love for LEGO games on the XBox

i think anakin is somewhere in his toybox with indy's whip...

and it does not escape me that i've abandoned my poor blog

for over 6 months.

life's been busy with change and more change,

and i blog for me.  but me didn't find particular delight in blogging for awhile...

but in recent weeks, i've been re-reading my past entries,

trying to decide if i will keep this thing or not.

and keep it won.

:)

i've spent a good deal of my waking hours

driving taxi carpooling my 3 kids around-and-about as of late,

and am finding it increasingly irritating that my minivan 'swaggerwagon' is so

plain, boring, nondescript.

i thought it needed a little something

so baylor suggested it's possibility as an autobot.

i had to concur.

so i whipped out my handy-dandy silhouette machine,

complete with pink vinyl and a cool font,

and,

voila.

i now drive an autobot.

and have about the happiest kid in the entire puget sound region...

who's a superhero in YOUR life?

heaven + earth

i had the complete privilege last night to take some photos of little kelsey in my ward.  she's getting baptized soon, and her mom wanted some pretty pictures of her in her dress. 

my eyes lit up with excitement (i probably frightened her with my mania enthusiasm!) and i started gibbering a bunch of nonsensical photographical colloquialisms regarding light and sunset and 'the meadows' and a really pretty glow (yeah, it was real technical stuff), and really, the whole time we're talking, i'm thinking how exciting it will be to take pictures of someone who gets dressed up and smiles and actually wants their picture taken! 

i love my children fiercely.  but they are mostly just annoyed with me when i have my camera out.  how do i know this?  check the amount of tongue-sticking-out, weird-smooshy-face, see-food, blurring-as-they-run-away photos i have on my sd cards these days. see below. yeah.

so it was such a pleasure to do this for them!  i was so excited by the images, i stayed up late last night to proof them right away.  even though i had a 7am dentist appointment.  it made me that happy.

i have to say.  something like this; something that involves so much light and life and reflection and emotion?  it is altogether beyond me.  i mean, i am grateful i have a sturdy camera and a fast little lens and a body that can roll around in the anthills and mucky sidewalks and scratchy grass fields without causing too much bodily harm or triggering a mammoth-sized fit of allergy-related sinus spasms, but it's not really me that gets the credit for it.  it's not my light.  it's not my smile.  it's not my spirit shining through.  and i think that as long as i never fail to recognize that...as long as i step aside, the photo will be a success.

i love it when i get in that place behind the viewfinder--that trance, that proxy, that servitude--where i'm looking through someone else's eyes.

okay.  enough rambling.  here are the favorites!

 

life + liberty + the pursuit of happiness

happy independence day to my fellow americans!

i was thinking tonight about this layout i created a while back, and thought i'd share it again.  it was such a poignant moment, i vowed to never forget it.  i am so thankful for the sacrifices mankind will make for his fellow brethren.  truly, there is no greater love than a man who will lay down his life for others.

"WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

♥ Happy Independence Day!

kodachrome

it was a kodachrome kind of sunset

sing it with me.....i've got a nikon camera
i love to take a photograph...

makes you think all the world's a sunny day

i miss my little blog, yes, i do!
i am just jumping in feet first to get it rolling again

already, i am wanting a redecorating of the sidebars...

(this facebook/twitter stuff has me all discombobulated
in the webisphere...so displaced, i am!  lol!)

jaspurr + singapore prep

it's difficult to get things done lately.  difficult, that is, unaccompanied....

this little critter has taken up residence here via olivia and her big heart full of love.  the mommy cat was abandoned and a neighbor took it in while pregnant, housed the new kittens and mommy, and now needs to find good homes for the 6 little cuties.  of course olivia was instantly in looooooove. 

"but mom," she reasoned, "we just have this connection..." 

i'm such a sucker.

well, at least he keeps me company while i'm prepping my kits for Creative Escape 2009 Singapore.
much to do, and so little time!!!  i am really excited about this event, though.  i've been putting my heart into these kits, and really enjoying working with the gorgeous varitey of Prima products i've packed into it.  this is going to be a gorgeous, fun album!!!

here's some more sneaks of what is going on....more to come!!!