silly as it sounds...

murphy's law

if anyone ever conclusively finds

the real mccoy murphy

behind this law,

i'd be surprised.

i have a suspicion there is no such man

and i'll come to find out

that i've spent

one too many minutes of my life

harboring animosity

towards

an imaginary figure

of speech.

i totally just re-injured my sprained ankle.

tripped,

and mistakenly kicked a dutch oven.

nice.

thanks a lot,

murphy.

i think my favorite time to blog...

(image copyright tiabennett2010) 

...is on nights like this when i just can't sleep.  when i get the urge to purge whatever internal dialogue flows through my cortex and onto the screen, as silly as it sounds.  regardless of relevance.

perhaps that is the foundation of my blogs seemingly irrelevant name: 

silly as it sounds.

because, despite all the sharing of eye-catching wonders and familial what-have-yous and hawking of goods i've done in years past, it all just boils down to this:

being creative. 

being creative with whatever, whenever, wherever. 

(image copyright tiabennett2010)

simply having the privilege everyday:
to express and perceive,
to question and explore.
to emote.
to strive.
to enjoy.

that is the essence of creativity, is it not?  to just take something and run with it....until it transforms into something infinitely more beautiful or translucent or magical than it seemed just moments (or hours....or days....) before?

to craft every day the invaluable journey of self mastery; the unification of body and spirit, whose fusion breathes new life into a whole heart and soul capable of inestimable happiness.

oh, the humanity.

"Oh, me. Oh, life of the questions of these recurring [...] what good amid these, oh me, oh life? Answer: That you are here, that life exists and identity, that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse." 

 

(public domain image courtesy of USPS-GOV)

good old walt.

my verses vary.  OH, how they vary!  the very acts themselves will change mid-scene; the scenery of one jubilant vignette giving way to another cacophony of colorfully captive living.  when, suddenly,

cut:  to a sobering reminder, illuminating the fragility of existence on this wonderful stage.

oh, the humility.

(i think often of the car accident last week, and the good fortune i had to escape with my precious life, let alone not a single bone broken or worse.  to have all my faculties and sinews and precious future days on this beautiful earth escape unscathed.  i truly am lucky to be alive and whole.  my gratitude to my Heavenly Father is without words.  my thanks to the many who have reached out in love and service and prayers and kind words is overflowing.)

but onward it goes.  upward we climb.  silently we petition.  and bravely we battle on.

fueled by hope.  by faith.  by love, unfeigned.  by peace.

does anyone even read this anymore?

i don't know.

but.

i know that i miss sharing my art.  my creations.  my journey.

i know that i want to feel safe enough here to do that again.

not for a job.
not for a paycheck.
not for an assignment.
not even for an audience.

but for me.

so, if you choose to stick around, that's okay;

i won't complain.
i won't even try to hawk you my goods.
i will center my text, lazily go uncapitalized, and mess constantly with my blog appearance and sidebars.
i will miss lots of days and then inundate the blasted thing with umpteen posts on single random days.

i will even read all you write and wish you kind thoughts and moments of joyful happiness; i'm just that kind of sun-shiney, smiling, brown-eyed girl.

but one more, important, thing you can be assured of,
is that i will strive to be

unapologetic-ally,
unashamedly,
(albeit, perhaps, even) unprofessionally,
but nonetheless,
unequivocally

me.

the dreamer.  the hope-r.  the happy-maker.  the life-lover.  the beauty-finder.

silly as it sounds,

and all.